Sunday, October 6, 2013

My thoughts on the government shutdown

1. Republicans are crybabies. They lost fair and square. Now they’re throwing a temper tantrum. Man up.
2. Health care has been a ticking time bomb for decades. For the 12 years before Obama, Republicans controlled the House & Senate. In that time, they did not produce a conservative solution to health care.

3. No one really knows what Obamacare will do to our economy, hospitals, or employers. To anyone who says they know for sure what will happen: shut the fuck up. In case you slept through science class, you can’t know the results of the experiment until after it runs. To everyone else: sit back and give this legislation a chance.
4. Standard & Poor’s downgraded US debt in 2011. Do you remember why? They said that political gridlock threatened America’s ability to repay debt. Well… here we are. You can’t say we didn’t have fair warning.
5. Lobbying has ruined our democracy. I have a hard time believing that John Boehner and Eric Cantor care this much about mammograms and colonoscopies. A much more likely explanation is the $102 million insurance companies spent to prevent Obamacare. Make no mistake: 95% of politicians are prostitutes. (Examples of the 5% who aren’t include Dennis Kucinich and Ron Paul.) We need a constitutional amendment to ban lobbying ASAP.
6. Obama has done a piss poor job of selling Obamacare to the public. As President, he can literally interrupt every single TV show when he wants to give a national address. He sold himself so well during the 2008 election. What happened to the salesman I knew and loved?
7. In general: we must cut government spending. By a lot. America is a business, and every year we’re slowly going bankrupt. This is one concept I’ve never seen a Democrat truly comprehend. You, yes you, are going to have to settle for less.
8. If only 12% of Americans are satisfied with congress, why do we keep voting for incumbents? Hey, you who are reading this: Stop voting for Team 1 and Team 2. You are part of the problem… not the solution. Instead, find a candidate you really believe in and vote for them. If your neighbor has good ideas, tell him to run.
9. America is still racist. We’re just more subtle about it. Part of the way we’ve treated Barack Obama is due to his race. We wouldn’t be giving the President such a hard time if he was white and grew up in Georgia.
10. Watching politics on TV is like watching bad sex. He’s squishing her. She’s only pretending to be into it. He wants to be more assertive, but doesn’t know how. She’s thinking about someone else. He can’t quite get it in. She is rolling her eyes when he’s not looking. (It’s the only analogy that truly fits.)
11. The bottom line is this: Our representatives have stopped caring about America and only care about winning. We’ve got two parents who are so busy arguing over what’s best for the child that they haven’t noticed the child is starving, tired, and just wants her parents to stop fighting.
Stop fighting America. Think about the child, and get something done instead.

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